January 28, 2008

about my first day on the outside

So it's been eight-and-a-half months, and now that I'm out, I can finally tell my side of the story. Thanks for bringing the computer to the hospital, Dad. The keys are a bit far apart, but I think I can manage.

4:10 a.m. Sunday

- I've about had it in here. The bluetooth reception is horrible and everything I use has to be waterproof. I think I've finally found a way out. The first step is getting rid of a bit of this ammniotic fluid. That'll let her know I'm on the way. I don't want to make it too obvious... don't want to freak her out... so I'll just let a little out.

8:30 a.m. Sunday

- I guess that wasn't enough to convince her. They're still going to this "church" place I hear about once or twice a week. I hear I'm going to like it there.

10:20 a.m. Sunday

- Okay, the walls are starting to really push in now. They've done this before though, and nothing happened. Mom was supposed to keep something called "babies" this morning, but she just told her friend she's not going to do it. Mom's talking to that guy again and he's going to take us back to the house.

11:00 a.m. Sunday

- We're back at the house. The walls of this place are pushing in like crazy... it's like every two minutes. They've never been like this before. Whoa... what's that... hey... MAN I'm getting squished. What... we're getting back into the car?

11:30 a.m. Sunday

- I recognize the "bzzzz" sound of the car, but it's really more of a "BZZZZ" this time. Mom's calling the mean lady that pokes and prods on me, but she's not "on call," whatever that means, so her other mean lady friend is coming to meet us.

12:09 p.m. Sunday

- Okay, I've had enough of this. I'm ready to find out what's next. There seems to be a complete opening here that didn't used to be here. I wonder what happens if I try to stick my head out of it?

12:39 p.m. Sunday

- OUCH! This is tight quarters. Now it looks like I don't have a choice. The mean lady is unwrapping something loose from around my neck... it's all alive and stuff. Whoa! It's bright! Holy cow! I can move my arms!

12:40 p.m. Sunday

- So that's what Mom looks like. And this guy with the fuzzy face... he must be my Dad. He's the only guy in here. Everyone else in here, I've never heard before. Or seen, obviously. They're all wearing pretty masks and rubbing all over me with towels. I guess I'd better say something now. Mom wants me to talk louder, so I do. It sure is nice to be on her outside instead of on her inside.

12:41 p.m. Sunday

- Whoa, what did Dad just do? Now there's this plastic clip on my tummy where I was hooked in to Mom before.

12:50 p.m. Sunday

- Hey, where did Mom go? This lady just took me over to a table and she's stretching me out. Oh, hey, there's Dad. He looks like he loves me a lot.

1:00 p.m. Sunday

- The lady stretched me out and measured me every which way. I know I'm supposed to be a good boy, so I was very quiet. Even when she stuck me with that pointy thing in the leg... I was still quiet. She said it was the first time she ever didn't have a baby cry when she did that. I'm a brave boy!

3:00 p.m. Sunday

- It's gotten a lot quieter in here. I'm all clean and sitting with Mom and Dad and Miss Susie. I think I need to catch a quick nap, and it turns into an hour.

5:00 p.m. Sunday

- Mom and Miss Susie are going to a new room, and Dad and I are going to the "Nursery." When we get there, there are other babies there, but none of them are as smart as me. I brought my Dad! The lady who gave me a bath put a special bracelet on my arm and my foot, and she put some special radio on my leg with an ace bandage. She says that the radio is to make sure that I don't go wandering off by myself without my Mom and Dad, and the bracelet is to make sure that I go with my Mom and Dad, and not someone else's Mom and Dad. I already miss my Mom, so it was good that we went right to the room to be with her.

5:30 p.m. Sunday

- Mom and Dad and I are resting in the room. It's been a long day already. I found out that I have something on my fingers that is pokey, and it makes little lines on my face that are called "scratches." Mom makes sure that I'm bundled so that doesn't happen again. She tells Dad to get some "socks" from "home." It's way too much new stuff for me to get all at once. I rest a little, and they start talking about me to people in little boxes that light up.

6:15 p.m. Sunday

- Two new people come to our room: Papa and Yia Yia. They're Mom's Mama and Daddy. They tell me that they are "proud" of me.

7:30 p.m. Sunday

- More people! It looks like a Mommy and a Daddy and little people. Mom calls them "girls." One of them sits up on the couch and Yia Yia puts me in her lap. She is so gentle, and she sings very pretty to me - my favorite song, "Away in a Manger." I think I like girls (for now.)

8:00 p.m. Sunday

- Daddy leave for this "home" place, and the girls stay and play a little longer before they have to go home. Then Daddy comes back and Papa and Yia Yia have to go "home." Everyone's coming and going.

9:00 p.m. Sunday

- Finally, it's me and Mom and Dad. Oh, and those ladies that had the masks on. They keep coming every now and then. They are called "nurses." Most of the time, they just talk to Mom and Dad about my diapers and when I eat. They're really nice.

9:52 p.m. Sunday

- I really am pooped after this long day, so I sack out. I think Mom and Dad got a nap in too. Mom is really tired, but she's still got a lot of energy. Dad is doing great. They think I'm going to sleep for a while, but I think I'll get them up around midnight. :D

All in all, I like it being on the outside better than the inside. I get to see Dad, and I get to see Mom instead of just grunting around in the dark.

I still wonder what "home" is?

(hat tip to Julie Lankford for inspiring this post with her family emails!)


Anonymous said...

Welcome Adam!

Your "half-Uncle?"


Adam said...

According to the cousin calculator at iroots.net, you're my "First Cousin, Once Removed."